Should vs. Could

Language is powerful and there is a massive importance in the words that we say and think.

While talking through my plans for today I said to myself “I should go a run” and then I took a minute to be mindful of how this made me feel. Reflection made me realise how the word “should” evokes so many negative feelings and I realised how often I use this word and how I could change this.

Saying to myself this morning “I should go a run” implies a standard of expectation, which means if you fail to do this you have failed in your own eyes. This can make you feel guilty, a failure, threaten and inadequate.

Whereas by replacing the word should with could and saying “I could go a run” does not evoke the same feelings. Using could implies a choice, opportunity, possibility and hope.

Here is a few examples of this where you might be using it:

“ I should lose weight”= pressure and judgement.

“ I could lose weight” = hope and opportunity.

“You should say sorry” = Evokes resistance and guilt.

“You could say sorry”= Evokes reflection and choice.

There is of course times in life when the word should is more appropriate than the word could but if you take the time to be mindful of when you use the word should and what feelings this can evoke, you can start to replace this word and notice the difference It can have on confidence, self-esteem, seeing results and your general mood.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, use Could instead of Should.